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Hey all!  Just arrived home from my Godson's 1st communion and it was wonderful and my SIL threw an elegant and amazing celebration, as usual!   This particular blog however, is not about 1st communion, although I will be posting pictures later this week... I have been reading a GREAT book call "Holy Sex!" and no, it's not some boring-can't-have-fun-sex-is-for-procreation-only-type book.  It's an awesome book about enjoying your spouse and all that goes with that ...  The part I'm going to refer to tonight is the section on "Respect" and subtitled "Modesty"; I don't think it's what most people would think modesty is, so here goes:

Modesty has MUCH (emphasis added) more to do with one's internal attitude than it does with hemlines.  The great Catholic physician and philosopher Dr. Herbert Ratner once said that a nun could be forced to walk naked down the street and still find a way to carry herself modestly, while Marilyn Monroe (or, perhaps a more contemporary example would be Paris Hilton) could walk down the street in a nun's full habit and still find a way to seem immodest.

 

Just as many people acquaint chastity with repression, so too many people equate modesty with dumpiness.  As popular Catholic speaker Mary Beth Bonnacci wrote in an issue of Envoy magazine, certain people who think they are pursuing modesty "Seem to fear all attraction to the opposite sex.  Some women seem to make a test out of requiring men to look past their deliberately slovenly appearance to find the 'gold' of inner beauty disguised within." 

She goes on to say, "The object of modesty is to elevate the dignity of the human person. It's to demonstrate that we respect the human body as the seat of the soul, as a gift from God.  We keep the sexual function of the body private out of respect, but we also show respect for our bodies when we dress attractively." 

The upshot is that if we dress in a manner that glorifies ourselves, either by saying, "Look at what hot stuff I am," or, "Look at how piously dumpy I am," then we are being immodest. 

Fr. Peter Stravinkas notes that modesty is a social virtue that facilitates relationships by preventing people from either behaving (or dressing) too shockingly with each other or behaving (or dressing) too fussy with each other.  In order to practice modesty, of course, you should be sensitive to the message you are sending by what you wear, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT (emphasis added) you should avoid gossiping about others to make yourself feel better, more pious, or more accomplished, and you should practice and encourage the ability to display all your gifts and talents while avoiding the temptation to say, "Hey everybody, look at me!"  all of the time.

Holy Sex!  By Gregory Popcak Ph.D.

WOW!  Yes we need to be sensitive to not exposing too much cleavage or showing more skin than not, however, it's our behavior that dictates modesty.  I have never connected the two before, although it seems to be a no-brainer once I read it!   Yes, Mother Theresa, when she was alive, if forced to walk naked down the street would still be modest, because her behavior dictated modesty.  And Paris Hilton, (or the "dish of the day"), no matter how much clothing she was forced to wear, could still seem immodest, because AGAIN, it's in our behavior, not our hemlines.  I do think however, if someone is truly modest inside and out, has respect for herself and is comfortable with who she is, then she will display that in how much skin shows and doesn't show, but we don't need to be covered from neck to toes to appear modest, in fact that can also be immodesty because we are then saying to everyone around us, "Hey! Look at me, I'm being modest!"  It's an interesting thought to ponder, which I definitely have been doing since I read it on the car ride home today.  I definitely would appreciate any comments to this post!